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Sunday, March 20, 2011
Cough cough...Gastric pain... Headache.... Sore throat...
Guess I will be sick sooner or later. But I like it. Not sure why, when I feel that I collapsing soon, I like that feeling. Is not that I want to attract people's attention.. I want no one to care about me. I don't want people to ask if I am alright.. I hate it.. Just stand there and see me falling down just like that.... I like to be alone. I like loneliness... Sounds weird and funny, but who will understand why I like to feel this way? Sometime, when you are alone, it can be so peaceful... I hate my life. Yes, I do. I hate myself too. Every time, behind my smile, hide a thousand of tears.... I refuse to let anyone understand me any better. I prefer to close my doors to everyone. Everyone, everything, doesn't interest me at all... I lost interest in everything. Not even a word of encouragement will motivate me any further. I like to be in my own world. I like to live denial. I wish that no one remembers my existence when I am gone.. Don't miss or feel sad for me ,for I am not worth it. I have changed. Yes. I know. I can't help it too. A girl with many problems will only bring troubles and problems to people around her. She knew it very well. Let her emo for a period of time. Maybe she just need a space to like...like say out what she always wanted to... |
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