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Wednesday, September 29, 2010
But no matter how strong she tries to be, there’s always times when she cried by herself in a corner or under her blanket when everyone is sleeping. Wednesday. Night. Everything is changing, I can see. It's too obvious. Honestly speaking, I don't have high hopes for my future. Living everyday, doing the same things, seeing the same things. No change. I know that one may be different from others. But..... The *one* can be so helpless at times...* Tuesday, September 28, 2010
me
Tuesday night.
Something changed my wishful thinking that everything had changed for the better.
I wonder if God is testing my family.
He made me gained something today, but in the end, he took something from me; a naive thought that my life is getting better.
I was wondering if the saying is true or not; You gained something, but you'll lose something.
Every time I was given a test, I always asked: why god choose me?
After that, I knew the answer, I was not mature enough. I made too many mistakes, w/o repenting. That is why my life is so- called miserable.
Close friends around me always encourage me. I had already been through the worst, what else can be more worse and tough than the future fears?
Sometimes I wonder, who am I?
Monday, September 27, 2010
Dont feel a sense of happiness. Why? Because I know I can't blame anyone , but myself. Sunday, September 26, 2010
*tears flowing down**tears flowing down* Just helped my itouch bathed... Saw scratches behind it! Those engraving got extra *lines* Have to blame myself... Should have wait it longer. The moment the itouch came out, ordered online, and realized that the screen protector n casing will not reach Singapore that fast... *sobs* Brought a iphone's screen protector n use my bro's previous itouch's casing... Screen protector too small, but no choice. Casing, like wearing a XXL shirt... But..in order to use.. have to endure. But who knows....THERE WILL BE SCRATCHES!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!! One scratch= one needle in my heart... Have no idea when those thingy will reach Singapore... Luckily big bro n mama didnt spot e new itouch.... or else my ears will never get to rest in peace... Mama still tot i saving for SS3... Sorry mama, i'm confidence that i can save for SS3, but itouch still first.=D Saturday, September 25, 2010
Oh! So true!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wa, damn tired now!!!!Last night, too nervous!!! Slept @ 2, woke up @ 5......now head gonna bang table le.... actually, today, heart dunno why suddenly stopped 4 less than 1 sec, thn heartbeat irregular... aiyo... those kids were cute... but got exceptional... got one go point middle finger @ me! WALAU~~~ yesterday's wish...only one came true; which is not to teach Chinese.... today kena pri 6-5...SUAY!!!! PRAY REALLY HARD!!! TML LOWER PRI PLSSSSS!!! BUT STILL NO CHINESE PLS....... sPENT E whole day stoning.. tml more jialat, rit after relief teaching, gotta picnic with siewxiu!!! God~ My eyes are closing now.... shall go take a nap...later wake up see "爱" Aunty Chin signing off... *tml's lucky color= indigo* Number= 23 & 24
GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS Monday, September 20, 2010
Monday. Night. Depressed.As i said..I'm trying to change, for the better... better.. i hope so. Thursday, was supposed to meet Mihyun for lunch. Morning; badminton with Mich n Sel. But...things changes....bcox of mum. Dun wish to talk already, or else I'll b undergoing the "test" again. When I knew that Thursday's plans are gonna be cancelled...I almost had a war with mama. In the past, when she did those things, WWIII happened. However, for today, I bear with it. Even though I'm really mad with Mama, I don't wish to quarrel with her, because I knew if I talked to her, my tone's not gonna b nice. So, I kept quiet.(internal water boiling) I put on my ear piece, and I played that track again and again.. This song, always calmed my nerves... While listening to this song, I'm still very angry at my Mama.. But as my anger continues, I closed my eyes. I asked God to listen to me. I tried all ways to calmed myself down really... That is when, I know: Its so hard to change. However, I cannot give up. In the end, I managed to suppress the"anger" However, I still more time. I couldn't talk to Mama still.. I still need to learn how to see things differently and always look on the bright side. I just need time. Sounds drama.. But I would really like to be a better person, Just give me some time.. Will you? Will they?
Saturday, September 18, 2010
MUOI....... WATCH IT!!! NICE!!!!
weeee... Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday Friday, Saturday... Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday Friday, Saturday.. In the process of learning how to 多听,多看,多想,少说话 =D AH HA!!!! Was listening to those hymns, and I'm starting to really "feel" and get into those hymns... I was sinking deep in sin, far from the peaceful shore, Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more, But the Master of the sea, heard my despairing cry, From the waters lifted me, now safe am I. So, I'm trying to change...trying , trying and still trying... Looking back now, I've realized how dumb, childish, brainless have I been.. So, from now on...no, i can say last night, I tried to treat anything and anyone, with a whole new heart=D I just hope to be a better person... And I know, I can, If I don't give up =) Would like to dedicate this song= Thank you, Lord,
for the trials that come my way. In that way I can grow each day as I let you lead, And thank you, Lord, for the patience those trials bring. In that process of growing, I can learn to care. But it goes against the way I am to put my human nature down and let the Spirit take control of all I do. 'Cause when those trials come, my human nature shouts the thing to do; and God's soft prompting can be easily ignored. I thank you, Lord, with each trial I feel inside, that you're there to help, lead and guide me away from wrong. 'Cause you promised, Lord, that with every testing, that your way of escaping is easier to bear. But it goes against the way I am to put my human nature down and let the Spirit take control of all I do. 'Cause when those trials come, my human nature shouts the thing to do; and God's soft prompting can be easily ignored. I thank you, Lord, for the victory that growing brings. In surrender of everything life is so worth while. And I thank you, Lord, that when everything's put in place, out in front I can see your face, and it's there you belong. Thursday, September 16, 2010
CHANGING BLOG SKIN AGAIN!!! =D other time=D Watching some videos on 3rd countries.... Making myself emo only... but, what can i do? In the past, I do not know how to appreciate people around me, don't know how lucky and blissful am I. But what about those kids and people living in 3rd world countries? "I sympathy them" These 3 words, everyone also can say, but actions speaks louder than words. I know that 现在的我, have no ability to help those people, the least I can do, is to learn to cherish EVERYONE and EVERYTHING around me. Pray for them everyday.. Everyone have the right to live in this world, why make life so difficult for them? Let's put ourselves in their shoes... Not able to eat the full 3 meals, not able to sleep on a comfortable bed, not able to bath everyday, not able to drink and eat clean food, not able to use the internet / computer, no TV to watch, pockets empty, starving to death, starved till the whole body are bones only... why are we complaining about food that taste awful? why?why? 生在福中, 不知福. I've learnt, to SMILE everyday! Treasure EVERYONE and EVERYTHING around me. Forgive and love my enemies. Not to take anything for granted. Complain less/not complain about anything. Reduce my worries, as mine could not be compared to them... Spend my days more meaningful. Last thing: I must bear in mind that, I'm a lucky girl! =D No matter how many obstacles, no matter how many times I fall, no matter how bad things are, no matter how sad and disheartened I am, no matter how angry and frustrated I am, I must faced it with a smile, and get over it... 我们活着,必须真体会到; 生在福中, 已知福 的滋味.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
WEDNESDAY MORNING!Tired! Bored! Friday gng to USS!! yipeeeee!!!! ^^ Gotta itouch 4...but what's e use!!!! the screen protector n casing not out in SG's market!!!! Go anywhere, ask around...but all say 2 weeks time thn out....WTH!!! brought too early!!!! Went to the bank with mihyun to do her GO! card... learnt a shocking thing....when u reached 21 yrs old, ur bank ac must have @ least 500 bucks in it! or else will penalty!!! WA! i dunno lol!! 21 yrs old.....SHIT! must start saving now!!! BUT! after the SS3 thingy! =D aiyooooo..need alot of $$$!!!!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
*Yawns***Just came back from the trip to Batam.... So tired! Yet....this trip makes me so unhappy! Did not enjoyed myself...feel like a maid.. No one to talk to or "play" with... Mama was always with the ah peks and aunties.... those cute kids everyday itouch itouch.... ok.......wanna continue my post with Chinese language.. 心中有无数的感想和内心话... 不知道为何... 突然间...感到很忧郁. 这几天, 一点小事就让我非常的emo. 就像妈妈有时为了一点小事就怪我. 我想很多; 太不公平了! 不知不觉的...就想好多好多... 现在的我, 已经不像我了. 人是会变的...但是他们懂吗? 现在的我, 很像walking zombie, 容易provoked! 又很容易______ 做每一件事时, 都无精打彩.. 我失去了毅力. 失去了对每一个人的信心, 失去了对自己的信任. 疯疯颠颠的日子, 渐渐没了.. 我好累...真的好累了... 我好想放弃...因为, 太多事情..唉...dun want to think about it. 或许是我想太多了. 可是 谁会知道?
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Friday Morning....FRUSTRATED!!! *sounds like law=D* AIYOOOOOO..... ming ku ar!!! actually gotta go celebrate jy's b'dae.......but why why?? Mama told me tt i can only make it for lunch!! dinner sec bro coming home....anyway, hope everyone gonna enjoy themselves!!!! T_T I can still remember mama told me tt we're gng to malaysia after my exams....i tot still what... subsequently...found out tt mama actually signed both me n her up for a trip to malaysia...with the 乐龄 people.....with those ah peks ah ma-s...... FUNNY!!! aye....反正 i free during the weekends...go lor... got those 3 kids accompany me cn le....or else i really become an auntie le! TSK! BTW!!! *switch channel!* MACDONALD'S MUDPIE IS SUPERBBBBBBBBB!!!! =D OKIES, gng to see 爱 le...OPPPSSS...i'm really like auntie le!!! HELPPPP!!!!
=D woah woAH WOAH!!! yi pee ya yo!!!!! exams over...why still worry?? haiz..worry about results!!!!! first thing i did when reached home: www.karaokeparty.com =D know that my voice like chicken....HAHHA, but self entertainment!!!! i tink my brain goes hay-wired le!!!! was taking the clothes from the wardrobe... blur blur de...took a cloth hanger into the toilet....tot tt one is my shirt.........MAMA laugh till....i tink her mouth will ache!!!!! so bad!!!! didnt tell me, still thr laugh!!! TSK! hahhahha JK!!! TINK RESUlts will flunk!!! couldnt concentrate....so suay!!!! sec paper....tongue got a row of ulcers underneath my tongue!!! after tt, those ulcers burst n form into cuts!!!!! DAM JIALAT!! law paper rush to do finish just to c doc... KNS!!! these few days met alot of UNREASONABLE PPL!!!! was lining up for the bus, when a AUNTie GO STAND IN FRONT OF ME!!! CUT MY QUEUE!!! WALA*!!! and she ACT as if nothing happen!!! aye...dun wan to fight with AUNTIES.....so forget it!!! got the posters from sunjee...SHINee...SUJU + Doraemon =D mama gotta shout when she enters into the room!!! HAHHAHA STAND UNDER MY UMBRELLA !!!! OKIES...my random-ness is getting worse!!! oh oh!!! new itouch reaching next week!!! AWWW.....cant wait!!! i'm looking forward for the camera feature!!! hopefully wont disappoint me!!!! okies...shall stop here...continue singing my SONG!! mu hahaha!!!!! poor neighbors..HERE I COME !
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