Chinfimo ★

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Today.

Zero interaction with lect notes. Best :D

Today, I think my left arm, the muscle. Gonna tear soon.

Those beloved kids are just so cute and playful!

Now i know how difficult is it for a mother to raise a child...

One day for me, and i'm gonna collapse.

Was helping ahma to fold some things for the seven month prayers.

Those cute cousins came and asked me what's that?

Ah ma told them small kids shouldn't asked so much. Then i replied: Because you all Christians, cannot like anyhow touch all these things. *both uncles and aunties are all devoted Christians*

Thn one of them asked me: You not Christian meh?

Woah.....thousand of questions ran thru my tiny brain.....

Was thinking:

Because dad hates Christianity to the core, and he swears that he will nvr allow one of us to be Christian.

Because ahma will be dam heartbroken if she knew that even her most *trusted and she thinks that they will not convert to Christian* grandchildren believes in God.

These 2 main factors had caused me to not step into a church for the past few months.

Was wondering, so; Have I lost touched with God?

I must give myself a very good explanation to it.

When can i tell dad about my faith?

What will happen next?

Will there be another world war?

Is he gonna chased me out of the house as he said?

Is he gonna kill me?

Is ahma gonna be dam dam heartbroken?

How....how....?

But, i believe that everyone has the rights to choose their own religion.

Asking your child to swear in front of a Buddha that you will be a Buddhist for forever is not gonna stop that child from believing in what she wants.

Telling your child that even you're dead, you'll still come back and make sure we're still Buddhist is not gonna scare them.

But...what's holding me back?

Is it me myself,

or no other?