Chinfimo ★

Friday, July 30, 2010

Saturday.

Is the power of $$ really that powerful?

Must people be so realistic?

It's really so hurtful, if your mum always side your bro who have income of his own.

Whenever he's in wrong, the blame is always me.

I always ask why am I always in wrong? It's THE FACT that he picked on me. His reason: I got give money. You? useless bum!

They dun know that this really hurts me....

When I go work, almost all the salary give parents.

Sometimes, I rather save $$ just to give them, trying to contribute to this family.

Yet, no one appreciate.

I know my health problems, cost you all alot of money, and cause alot of trouble. But, you think I want?

"People @ your age already in university. You? Older than people 2 yrs still poly yr 2. You don't feel shameless?"

When they said this to me...My heart breaks into thousand of pieces.

I'm trying my very best in poly. Trying to score well.

I know that I not as clever as both bros, but...i'm really trying my very best, putting all my effort to it.

Sometimes, when my results is considered good, told them about this good news, they seems to be ok ok only....

After which, they'll say: you this kind of results you happy meh? You older than people le, it's logic that you must score even better. Liddat then happy..

If either one of the bros score well, they will be very happy.

Am I that not worth all your attention when I thought you all will feel happy for me.

I need all your encouragement and care.

Sometimes you all treat me very nice, show that you all care for me...but out of sudden, say hurtful words to me and it's really hurtful...Is tt how you all treat me?

Honestly, I feel like leaving this home.

Go far away alone.

Or to just end my life.

I feel that living in such family, it's useless.

But, they all made me love them alot.

Loving you and hurting you.

Is it normal for a family? I dun tink so.

I'm so "small" and "tiny" in this family.

Look out for me when I've something to contribute.

Am i the maid of this family?

Or am I nothing @ all....

I really don't know if they really love and care about me.